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Anything Horror Scott’s 10 Worst Horror Films of 2014

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Well here we are at the end of yet another year. 2014 was full of surprises and, unfortunately, huge disappointments in the horror genre. The bad horror films were absolutely horrible while the top horror films were fantastic. There were very few films that were “middle of the road.”

But here’s my list for the Worst Horror films of 2014. I know all these year end lists are subjective, but I think I explain in my full reviews exactly why I think they openly suck (I included the link to the full review). As always, I love all your comments!! This list is in no particular order … I hated all these films equally!!

WOLF CREEK 2 movie poster -- exclusive EW.com imageWOLF CREEK 2

I loved the original WOLF CREEK!! I couldn’t wait to see this follow up and see how writer-director Greg McLean evolved the character of Mick Taylor. The answer: He turned Mick Taylor into a racist xenophobe. This film was so bad that it took me about four drafts until I was semi-happy with how I articulated my hatred for it. The dialogue was ridiculous, the plot was silly, and the ending was just plain stupid. WOLD CREEK 2 proves that lightening rarely strikes twice!!

poster frankensteinI, FRANKENSTEIN

My note to any and all studios who want to reinvent/remake the classic Universal monsters: STOP MAKING THEM ACTION HEROS!!! This trend is worse that the sequel, remake, and 3D trends put together. DRACULA UNTOLD did it, but the worse example by far is I, FRANKENSTEIN. An unnecessarily convoluted script with Frankenstein’s monster as a handsome, square-jawed, athletic, and agile action hero. And I won’t even mention the over-used, shitty CGI!! I hated every second of this film.

poster bigfoot warsBIGFOOT WARS

If the intention of the filmmakers here was to take one of the bloodiest, goriest, violent novel series about a war between humanity and Bigfoots and turn it into a thrill-less, blood-less, boring, terribly written and acted movie, then the “brains” behind BIGFOOT WARS succeeded!! This movie, in addition to being one of the worst films of 2014, was the biggest disappointment I experienced of the year. The series of books this is based on, “Bigfoot War” by Eric S. Brown, is an amazing series. What did the filmmakers do to it? They turned that series of books into a Bigfoot version of HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP. I’d rather be violated by a fish monster than watch this shit-fest again!!

poster see no evil 2SEE NO EVIL 2

The Soska Sisters are back and they once again prove that DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK was a fluke. After last years highly disappointing AMERICAN MARY, the Sisters have teamed up with WWE Studios to prove that no matter where they go generic story lines and predictable plots follow. There’s just nothing interesting going on in this film. I thought Kane, the pro-wrestler, was decent in the role of the killer but the surrounding story was just so yawn-inducing that he had nothing to work with. Even the presence of a very bored looking Danielle Harris couldn’t save this one. This film also has the distinction of having the worst  performance in any horror film of 2014. Katherine Isabelle’s performance is so bad that I was embarrassed for her. Yikes!! It looks like the Soska Sisters’ next two films will be action flicks. Good. They’ve proven they have no business being in the horror genre!!

poster oculusOCULUS

OCULUS us one of the rare films that Deggsy and I disagreed on this year. Deggsy loved it (his review here) and I hated it. My main problem with it was that I was bored to tears. Nothing happens in this film and it takes writer-director Mike Flanagan a long time to do nothing. I just don’t find mirrors scary and I find entire films based on ‘evil mirrors’ even less scary. I hated 2008’s MIRRORS and I hate 2014’s OCULUS. I’d rather watch DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE again rather than sit through OCULUS!!

poster wrong turn 6WRONG TURN 6: LAST RESORT

This one hurt … a lot. It hurt so much because I love this franchise. Previous entries proved to be excessively gory and violent and a whole lot of fun. This sixth film was just boring. The kills were mildly gory but we’re also pretty standard. They story was also a snoozer. Both writer Frank H. Woodward and director Valeri Milev completely missed and screwed up what makes a great WRONG TURN film. I’m hoping they make another one and get back to what made this franchise so much fun to begin with!!

poster late phasesLATE PHASES

I can just hear the pitch for this film:

Filmmakers: we want to make a werewolf film about an aged, handicapped protagonist who has to fight off a werewolf but no one believes him and he’s not exactly sure who the werewolf is.
Studio: uuhhh … that kinda sounds like SILVER BULLET. Actually it sounds exactly like SILVER BULLET.
Filmmakers: what’s your point?

Go watch SILVER BULLET instead.

poster blood widowBLOOD WIDOW

What do you get when you take a group of stereotypical, cookie-cutter characters, put them in an isolated location in the woods, and give them a killer with a motivation that’s thinner than Karen Carpenter? You get BLOOD WIDOW. But the biggest sin this film commits is that it’s sooooooo slow and boring. At one point during the film I actually started dusting my family room as I watched this film because I was so bored.

poster mockingbirdMOCKINGBIRD

From the same director (Bryan Bertino) that gave us 2008’s, THE STRANGERS (which I also didn’t like), comes MOCKINGBIRD. The film starts off promising enough but soon evaporates into … nothing. This is yet another film where nothing happens. Seriously … literally nothing happens. There’s not even enough action in this film to fill a fifteen minute short, nonetheless an eighty-one minute feature. Add to this some really dumb characters and dialogue and you have yourself a feature length yawn. Blech!!

poster don't blinkDON’T BLINK

DON’T BLINK is another film with a promising set up that ultimately goes nowhere and leaves the viewer feeling more empty than after a high colonic. A group of friends get stranded in what seems to be an abandoned resort and turn on each other faster than a fat guy jumps on a brownie. Then they all start disappearing one by one. But the filmmakers here have the last laugh as they never even give the viewer a hint of either the explanation or cause of the disappearances. This one has a great set up but is horribly executed!!

Special Mentions:

I usually don’t do this, but there were two films in 2014 that deserve to be singled out for their crapulence (is that even a word?). Here they are:

poster almost humanALMOST HUMAN

This film was made in 2013 but was released in 2014 and gets my award for the most shameful film of 2014. This film steals so heavily from other sci-fi films that I’m surprised writer-director Joe Begos hasn’t been sued!! I’m not talking about Begos borrowing themes from other sci-fi films. No no no. Begos steals entire scenes from other better films. You’ll immediately recognize whole scenes from FIRE IN THE SKY, THE X-FILES, THE THING, and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, to name a few. It’s shameful and Begos shouldn’t be rewarded for his blatant plagiarism. As I wrote in my review, “ALMOST HUMAN should be titled, ALREADY SEEN.”

poster paranormalPARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES

I don’t blame writer-director Christopher Landon, I really don’t. I blame myself for thinking … no, expecting … something different from this franchise. I enjoyed the first two PARANORMAL ACTIVITY films even though they were pretty much identical. The third was ridiculous and was yet another remake of the first film (the same shit happens all over again). The fourth film was, I thought, completely forgettable altogether. So why the hell would I expect the fifth film, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES, to be any different?

It isn’t.

My bad.

There it is. That’s my list of the worst horror films of 2014. Of course these are just the films I’ve seen. Now that I have Deggsy also watching and reviewing horror films I don’t have to watch every shitfest out there!! What shitty horror films of 2014 did I miss? Which films shouldn’t be on my list at all? Leave me your comments below.

Stay Bloody!!!


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